I Am Unique. Repeat, until those words sink in and you feel the specialness within the phrase.
A video has been circulating around the interwebs and it brought me near tears. Have you seen it? It was created by the ever so lovely MyPaleSkin (video is below).
Severe (cystic) acne has plagued my face since I was in 3rd grade. I remember waking up one morning and looking in the mirror at my reflection and assuming it was chicken pox. However, that wasn't the case and little did I know I would be sitting here at 22 with scars etched into my skin and dots popping up still.
There are times I curse to myself as I stare at photos and the scars that linger.
It is my face though and it's the only one I've got! I look at it as battle wounds from a time long past and memories that are brought fourth that push me to be greater.
Recently some attention has been directed towards girls who like to wear makeup. There is an opinion out there now that girls should wear none or very little, that the idea of wearing makeup must mean that you don't like yourself in it's natural state. I don't believe that too be true though, I think there's a tad bit of magic in makeup.
I believe in the beauty of the natural, but I see a power in the magic of make up.
When I was 17 years old the movie "Burlesque" came out. I remember riding in the car with my dear friend, Marisa, and the song "Beautiful People" came on. It was almost instantaneous that I fell in love with that song, but the looming notion that I would never be a beautiful person stirred my thoughts.
Mind you, you can see beauty in a lot of different ways. You can see it physically, you can see it emotionally, you can mentally. I think, well at least I hope, I am beautiful person on the inside, but for the longest time I felt that my outsides would never match.
Also at 17 I started using the drug Accutane. You may have heard of this power, painful, intense drug for severe acne.My side effects included muscle and back pain, loss of hair and eyelashes, severe dryness of skin, and depression.
More about the drug itself found here: http://www.drugwatch.com/accutane/
Also, while taking this pill you had to be put on birth control as well as getting blood tests every month. If all the warnings and side effects didn't deter you, it would (for most people) end up being worth it.
Fast forward to when I turned 19. I still had strangers, friends, coming up to me. "Here's a remedy for this, why don't you wash your face with that."
I washed my face. I took the medication.
I had a dream though that centered around cooking and vintage style. So with the help of my figure skating friend, Gabriella Griffith, who was attending beauty school at the time and Malachi Salado, a friend from high school pursuing photography I had my first "professional" photo shoot for my little dream called Miss Semi Sweet.
It was here I learned the magic of make up.
It was here where I saw my potential and what I wanted to be I could be. I cried as I looked at my face for the first time after Gabby had applied the foundation and blush.
I felt like myself.
I wasn't being judged in a negative way in the first second by my skin. I have dealt & continue to deal with social anxiety, but that is a story for another time. Could it be though that because of all those years of questions of what's wrong with your face or strange looks contributed to that anxiousness. Though make up doesn't make me want to give speeches or linger in a crowded space, make up makes every day leaving the house that much easier.
Scars. Scars can not be covered up, you can see them in almost all my pictures, but scars are what makes me unique. It's like a finger print, very unique, very much my own crazy pattern.
If you happen to stumble upon what makes you feel confident or if you happen to stumble upon what makes you feel happy my advice don't let go. Don't let negative comments drag you down.
In any way, shape, or form you are beautiful.
If ever you need a pick me up, let me know, because I'll be the first to let you know just how special, talented, and beautiful you really are.
Miss Semi Sweet